9 November, 2007 – Geneva, Illinois

Oh yeah, to reach there.

Karl intercommed at 4:45 AM. From there it was car – train – walk – train – car – and there we were, thirteen hours later, at our next venue, the UU church in Geneva, IL, and in the hands of our next host and organizer, Jean. We caught a quick meal and hauled our bags into church, to help move chairs and set up projector and screen and sound system. Dave showed up a bit later to help hack into the church’s sound system and we were good to go. I freshened up a bit, changed my shirt, splashed cold water into my eyes, and I was good to go too. People started to arrive and soon enough we had an audience of 42. Jean did a quick intro, Sally and I did ours, and off we went.

I was so tired, but I was glad to be there. Sally and I hung out in the conference room next to the sanctuary, where a speaker in the corner kept us apprised of how the movie was going. I downloaded some files and checked my email and sat there with my eyes closed. Sally did some writing. Eventually we made our way to the back of the sanctuary, to watch the end of the movie before making our way to the front, to give our thanks and invite the audience to the circle.

Twenty-two stayed for the circle. It was sweet, as all circles are. And it had a flavor like no others have had, as so many members spoke of their fears, which is not something many have spoken to before in our circles. I pointed out that pattern and wondered about the cultural strictures in place to keep us from speaking of our fear, and spoke of fear as a motivator, rather than as a paralyzing force. Sally asked us to speak of our feelings, and we did. That is always an honor, to be in a space that’s safe enough for us to express our feelings. Then we spoke of that which we would like to honor, and that was sweet as well. Another old friend from online was there – Roamie – and it was great to meet him in person. How nice, again, to put flesh to name and online presence. How wonderful.

We spoke of our fears, our hopes, our angers, our dreams, our shame, our sadness, our regret, and our joy. We spoke from the heart, as best we could, as well as we know how, we who have grown up in a prison that does not honor the heart. We spoke until we were ready to go, then we closed the circle, said our goodbyes, exchanged our last few hugs, and stepped out into the night, off to Jean and her husband Lou’s home, where we crashed almost immediately. It had been a very long day.

The next morning we had a huge and wonderful breakfast with Jean and Lou and their friends Monica and another woman whose name I’ve now forgotten (sorry!). Then we packed up and hit the road, with Jean at the steering wheel and Gladys (the GPS) at the navigation com, and headed off to Midway Airport to catch our flight back home. Jean showed us around her town, and her corner of the world, as she drove, and we heard more of her story. Gladys got us there with plenty of time to spare. We checked in, passed through security, and here we sit now, at gate A9, waiting for the plane.

Home soon. Home at last. We’ve been unhomed for so long that it’s going to feel very weird to be there. What will we do? How will we be? I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Our thanks to Jean and Lou and Dave, and to the many folk who joined us in Geneva for our screening and our circle. It was a great way to end the tour. It was just what we needed. And now its time to move into whatever comes next.

Home. For a while. But even home is now transitory, as we will be leaving as soon as we can, to parts unknown, to places and people and land and life we do not yet see. Home. Oh yeah, to reach there… and still miles from nowhere…

That’s the way of it, I guess. That’s the time in which we live. One step. That’s all we get to see. One step. Surrender. Trust. Jumping into the river and looking around to see who else is there. Scary. And sweet. And more full of purpose and meaning and vitality than I could ever have imagined. Letting go of the shore. It begins…

Todd is anxious to get back to work. He’s got stuff he wants to talk about. So we’ll see you on the other blog in a few days.

Boarding call. Jump in.

Peace,

Tim

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